and often I lose track of the time, lost...gone
on the thought of you, crane my neck just to get a view
reading your motions waiting for a cue, I guess you could say
I got a crush....
I wonder if I would be out of line if I copied the
thoughts written on my mind to paper and delivered
them to you ....naw....that still wouldn’t communicate my view
Maybe you’ll see it in my eyes, perhaps you’ll translate my sighs
Decode my gestures, where the truth lies, I guess you could say
I got a crush....
I say your name just to feel it play on my lips
and you become a melody so I sway my hips
bat my lashes and groove to the imaginary bliss
close my eyes real tight and make my wish
stand in a mirror and practice my pitch
If chance was granted, I’d do it just like this
Let my heart be the courage, hit or miss? I guess you could say
I got a crush....
I begin to write the script then hit delete
thinking the unthinkable is too much of a risk
because what if.....lyrics fail me, and you can’t catch the drift
Scared, Encouraged, Scared, Encouraged, welcomed or dissed
Bless me over twice I’m feeling this, I guess you could say
I got a crush....
(Most Wanted)
Excuse me, yes you, up front, in that chair.
What did you do different? I really dig your hair.
That’s what I think often, in hope for a stare.
But does she even notice me or know that I’m here?
Day after day, I think as I pass,
I wonder how she’s doing in her 2nd period class.
And while my friends see me nervous,
I hope they don’t put me on blast.
Thinking of her, my school work suffers, a lot.
Not even knowing my mind and heart is what she’s got.
Wondering, wishing, and praying for a shot
But I waste them everyday,
As she walks past me in the parking lot.
It has to be soon, and I have to choose whether,
To something that’s tougher than leather.
Or something real smooth, in the right type of weather.
Or should it be softer,
Like a baby bird feather?
OMG, here she comes.
Is this some kind of joke?
I close my eyes then open them to make sure that I’m woke.
My heart beats fast as she makes an approach.
Is this my chance?
Damn, I need a speech coach.
This is it, it’s my chance.
The thoughts in my head dance,
Of a possible romance.
But as I adjust my stance,
Right by me she pranced.
Well……it must not be me,
Because I didn’t even get a glance.
(Freedm)
Shyness possess her, as she notices him too,
wait for it...damn he didn’t get my cue.
Open your eyes brotha, can’t u see my focus is on you?
Tomorrow I’ll do it, I’ll take the lead,
step to his ass, and whisper what he couldn’t even believe.
Make my presence known and satisfy both our needs.....
(Most Wanted)
What just happened? Did she just say “Hi”?
And what this in my tummy, a big ass butterfly?
She did the unthinkable, she spoke to me first.
Now’s not the time for some verse I rehearsed.
I can feel her breathe as she softly speaks to me,
in my ear, it’s her number, this I can’t believe.
She’s what beauty is in my thoughts and my dreams.
I finally got what I wanted, yup, that’s what it seems.
(Freedm)
So yep, I did it, I swallowed my pride, swayed my hips just a little, and started simply with, Hi! He was surprised, I could see it in his eyes, then he spoke from his heart, no rehearsed lines. Will he remember the digits, I wondered and sighed, let’s see if he calls and where he intentions reside. A smile on my lips as I wait for his reply. So proud of myself for pushing shyness aside. It’ll start with a crush, then build it up to a kiss, sit back and relax and let me ride this bliss.....
(Most Wanted)
It has been an hour and I am scared to call.
Wondering to myself like I do in the halls.
Let me dial these numbers that I have burned in my brain.
It just feels so right, like a light summer’s rain.
I’m really glad that it’s over, the silence I heard,
But come to think about it, I still haven’t said a word.
Now I am really nervous, my thoughts start to swirl,
I wonder with these nerves, if I will sound like a girl?
So I make the 2nd move, and pick up the phone,
I dial the numbers and hope that she’s home.
It’s her voice that answers and I get all shook up,
the damn answering machine, just my f’ing luck.
I need to stressing, I’m sure she will be in touch.
(Freedm)
OMG, he called! And I wasn’t here, I waited all day. Kept my phone near. But as soon as I shower, he decides to call, now I gotta ring him back and my nerves are raw. BREATH...take my time, if I’m afraid to reach out, I’ll never claim what’s mines. I listen to his message over and over again, umm umm umm, it’s something about this man. I’m calling back, no gain if no risk, I softly speak into the phone and I tell him just like this, “Hey baby, it’s Freedom, your call I’m sorry I missed, but I’m available to you now, if you get my drift”........
(Most Wanted)
In the middle of cooking I hear the phone ring,
and ring and ring, I have to find that damn thing.
I answer in haste, I don’t have time to waste,
for my dinner is cooking, and I need to keep pace.
It’s her voice on the phone and in my tracks I do freeze,
help me keep my composure Dear LORD, I ask of YOU please.
She sounds so sweet, and pleasant, and pure.
The LORD must have heard me, for it’s her voice that’s the cure.
Just like when she whispered her name in my ear,
my nerves were ok, my heart had no fear.
We talked and laughed and joke for some time.
I had her attention and she had all mine.
But something was different, something was not right.
Outside of my window were loud noises and flashing lights.
Maybe some bums were drinking and started to fight.
So I ask her to hold as I prepare to explore,
just as I stand they bust down my door,
and just like a nigga, I dove to the floor.
They ask are you OK? I say yes, then I look.
They say well your Kitchen is on fire, do you know how to cook?
After all the excitement and unexpected activity,
I hope she’s still interested as I don’t really seem too witty.
How could I let this happen on our first call?
I burned up my kitchen, and she heard it all.
(Freedm)
What the hell, as I hold the phone, we were vibing so good, he damn near burned up his home. Damn, there goes dinner he says in my ear, not really I said, I live quite near. I got your back, have no fear, let me cook for u tonight, show off my skills. I start clanging and clapping pots on the stove, I’m feeling him too much, gotta keep this vibe on a roll. Come on over sweetheart, and let’s break bread, let me enjoy your smile and get in your head. I wanna know your everything, what do you like, let’s groove off the moment long into the night. Lyrical dancing, mental kiss, good lawd help me, I’ve never felt like this. We laugh and converse over meat and potatoes, I watched how he ate, anticipating those lips much later. But first let me get caught up in the man on display, don’t know where this is going, but grateful for the bond we have made....
(Most Wanted)
As the weeks went by, I begin to feel like a winner.
I can’t help to think back on when I burned up my dinner.
That night was so hectic, but she was a great host.
In my soul I can feel that she is different than most.
We connect and vibe and its all in stride,
I let it all go and went along for the ride.
My feelings are starting to grow inside.
She is all that and more and in her, I confide.
I share more with her than I have in the past,
and she doesn’t judge me or make feel outclassed,
by the dudes that have more, can give more, and do more.
She simply accepts me for me, right down to my core.
She’s not bad either, very pleasing to the eyes,
and her demeanor is pleasant, not some bullshyt disguise.
Her body is so soft, her skin is so smooth,
but I will take my time before making a move.
I don’t want to fukk it up, this groove that we are in.
To mess this thing up would be the 8th deadly sin.
She does all that I need, and for me, she is good.
An all purpose woman that has roots in the hood.
From all that I’ve learned she has come a long way,
maybe it’s time to tell her, show her,
that if she wants, I will be her MAN everyday.
(Freedm)
Time goes on and this feels like a fairy tale fable, we spend time everyday but still we have no label, should I make the first step, lay my cards on the table?
But what if I step up, way too soon, what if my feelings are too much for him to consume. Will we go too far, unable to resume?
I embrace who he is, who he has been, it’s him that I run too, his shoulder is always on lend. I value this man, on him I depend.
Smile for me baby, he says everyday, and when the world is too much, I’ll show you the way. How can I not fall deeper within, he is my rock, my alpha, my omega, my very best friend. Do you know, for no reason, he just holds my hand, while he is steadfast, the others just ran. I stare at this chocolate essence, and I take it all in, I don't want to rush but I’m ready to commit voluntary sin. Make me confess with my mouth the feelings I possess, let me trust in your heart and I’ll handle the rest.
So that we don’t make any mistakes, come pray with me King, just to be safe. Dear Lord I ask of you to bless what we have, keep our hearts open and have the power to last. Let us walk in your blessings and not move too fast.
Amen is the seal, as we proceed ahead, though lust is dwelling, it’s with love that we’re led....
(Most Wanted)
On the night that we prayed, the bond was solidified in my heart.
This is where she and I end, and where WE will start.
No other woman has made me feel so secure,
so trusting, so good, I know this love will endure.
All the ups and the downs that will surely come our way,
With the LORD on our side we can survive any day.
”Hey baby.” I say, in a confident voice, “I would like for you to be mine. I hope that I am your choice.”
”No need to answer or respond to it now.
Just know, yes or no, I’m still a friend if you will allow.”
And with those words she said nothing, but had a slight grin.
As if she was answering me from deep down within.
I never had such a feeling, such a rush of emotion.
My body was filled with the rarest of Love Potion.
She parted her lips, but before she could speak,
I placed my lips on her forehead, then her lips, then her cheek.
I told her before she said anything,
”Let me prove my intentions, and offer you this here ring.”
”You are everything I wished for, dreamed of, and more.
And even though we are not perfect, it is you I ADORE.
It’s the person I am when I am with you,
that makes realize,
this is what I need, want, and should do.
I am willing to spend the rest of the days of my life,
with you by my side as Mrs. Allen, My wife.”
I took a huge risk by taking it there,
but she is the shyt to me and all that is dear.
I left that night with a feeling of bliss,
that was also the night of our very first kiss.
(Freedm)
Well..I stared at the ring, and the tears begin to flow, cleansing and praising at how our love unfolds. Can you even believe we are the same, the shy people who were afraid to even utter our names. My strength grew in you, your confidence in me, we together birthed the honored title of “WE”.
I looked in his eyes and I seen myself, if I value him, then surely I recognize my own wealth. So while I was lucky, he was too. I leaned in real close and said , “I’m giving all of me to you”. Can’t wait to stand before God, and gladly say “I do”.
I took his hand and placed it on my heart, do you feel that, Alpha? It beats for Ty, it’s focused on our future and where our joint path entwines. He never said a word, he just begin to cry.
Exactly one year to the day we met, we stood at the altar with no regrets. He’d kept me wholesome, never involving fornication, though there was many nights of heated temptation. “No My Love, I’m nothing like the rest, you are my Eve, you deserve the best, acting on pure lust would just diminish this to sex”.” When I take you, it will be pleasing in God’s eyes, he will bless our loving making and the angels will sing with our sighs”.
So while we stood before The Lord, swearing what’s true, he not only took care of his salvation, he was the protector over mines too. “Yes” I said boldly when they asked. I will be his wife, his lover, his loyal friend, his peace, his beginning and his end. ~~
A Freestyle Collaboration brought to you by
Freedm - Akron, OH
Most Wanted - Pgh, PA
